My friends, Mary and Matthew, kissed and became engaged amidst falling snow. I loved it! Perhaps you did, too, because it was part of the final episode of PBS’s “Downton Abbey” which just concluded after two seasons (sad day!).
So, favorite part of the final episode (besides Maggie Smith’s spectacular scene stealers), was the proposal. First of all, Matthew was very gracious about Mary’s past. He acknowledged it, but he was kind when Mary was prepared for his disappointment and disapproval. The best moment was Mary’s request that Matthew propose “properly.” She could not give him an answer, she said, unless he got down on a knee and asked her properly.
This, dear readers, was a teaching moment for we very modern women. This was about much more than a perfect proposal. This was about asking something of a man before giving her heart away. Mary’s small requirement for his proposal speaks to much larger requirements women should have of men they date or marry. Requirements would most obviously apply to sex, but also to a woman’s emotions, her time and her heart.
A man will work pretty hard to get the attention of a woman he finds appealing, and a woman should have some requirements for a man’s behavior as she considers 1) who she will spend time with, 2) who she will share her deepest thoughts and emotions with, 3) the kind of man she will date, 4) the kind of man she would consider marrying.
Here are examples of good requirements for a man you would consider going on a date with:
- he treats others with kindness
- he has a job or is working hard toward employment
- he speaks and acts respectfully
- he asks for/requests your time
Here are examples of non-requirements:
- he drives a new car
- he’s super hot
- he wears the right label of clothes
- he wants to hang out, but never directly asks for your time and attention
Do you have some requirements of the men you date or would consider dating? What are they? We’d love to see your list of ten or less, and we’ll plan to share a selection of them here.
More about requirements: The comedian Steve Harvey wrote about requirements in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. If you’ve read the book, we’d love to know your thoughts about it.
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