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Posts Tagged ‘Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo’

It’s okay to admit to yourself that you want to marry.  It’s even okay to say it. Out loud. To others.

When you say it to people, I encourage you to pause and let the statement just be. Stifle the urge to explain or equivocate.  Let the person react, and know that this could be a little bit uncomfortable for both of you.  There is a myriad of possible responses but if someone responds negatively I would suggest that you deflect their words with a simply-worded response like, “I think marriage is a good thing and it’s been the desire of my heart for awhile now.”  Then, change the subject, or find a reason to leave the conversation.

There are at least two very good reasons to go ahead and say it. First, the good of stating any goal out loud is that it is more likely to become a part of who you are and something you work toward.

Second, it will be helpful for your friends and even acquaintances to know that marriage is a goal for you. Most people still meet their future spouse through friends or family members, so they can be a conduit for meeting husband material.  If your friends are negative about marriage, they should at least respect your hopes. If they don’t, you might consider finding some friends who will encourage you.

A third and fourth reason.  Your statement will encourage any friends who are like-minded but afraid to admit it, to be as strong as you are. And, you will stand out in the crowd to any man among your friends who would also like to marry.  Good men will admire your forthrightness, and the players will know not to mess with you.

Note: And now, as you’re thinking of a player you’re attracted to, and wish that he would change, stop it! Stop thinking about him!  The best way you can encourage a player to change is not to play his game. He is terrible husband material and, as the well-known book (He’s Just Not That Into You) says, think of yourself as the rule and not the exception–you’re not going to change him by dating him.

Back to the subject at hand. It’s a position of strength to know what you want and be able to say it out loud.  And with the long-term goal of marriage in mind, it should help you that your friends and family know that it’s your goal.

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